Why do some people have to be so hateful? Why do they insist on making my life a living hell. I thought by the time once reaches adulthood they grow out of these childish middle school antics. I feel like I have to walk around on egg shells as not to “offend” someone, when in reality, they are the ones that are being bullies and making endless demands that no one can possible meet. I feel like I am an angry thirteen year old again, where no one understands me and I must succumb to stooping to there level.
Why must these people hate me because I “have it better in life” than them? Is it my fault that my childhood and life seems “easier” and more “pleasant” than theirs? They don’t even know me well enough to know if their assumptions are correct. Who is to tally all the things that you would need to calculate how has it “easier” in life? Its really quite plan and simple to me: they hate me and say things about me behind my back that are not true because they are jealous of me and what “appears” to be the way I live my life. Its like people that are jealous of celebrities because of what they read in the magazine and the pictures that they see of them. They do not know these people. What they are jealous of might be completely fictional. Who is to know if say, Jennifer Aniston has a “perfect” life or if she has had to struggle through life. Just because she looks the way she does not mean that her life is perfect. It probably took and takes a lot of time to look like that. And who is to say that just because there are a lot of pictures of her out on vacation, that she doesn’t work all the time and that was just a moment in time where she took some days off?
Back to my situation, I feel like I can’t be myself around these people. I feel like I have to be silent and act like I am a child and only speak when asked to. I feel like when I do talk that I have to be so cautious of what I say and how I say it because they might “ take what I say the “wrong way”.
It is known that the reason that they hate me is because I am “stuck up” and “think I am better than them”. They think this based on how I talk to them, which is the same way I talk to others that don’t get the same assumptions as these other people. Frankly, I feel the same way about these people, that they are stuck up and think that I am stupid because they are always snappy to me and I can never do anything right, or right in their way. I thought it was also weird that they said these things about me because I have never been know to be “stuck up”, all my friends say that I down to earth, friendly, kind of girl. I I think that they probably say these things about me because they know it is true about them.
I am so tired of walking on egg shells and having to change myself so much that I am no longer myself”, in order for them to like me. I have come to the realization that they will probably never like me, because if you are jealous of someone and hate them for that there is nothing that that person can do to change the others mind. I was listening to Sister Hazel’s lyrics to “Change your mind”, which puts exactly how I feel at this moment.
This person is never going to like me. I need to stop trying to be someone else so that they like me. Why would I want to friends with a person like them anyway?
“If you want to be somebody else,
If you’re tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind… “ ( Sister Hazel)